Lost In The Jungle: Emo Years Ahead

(Em Inglês) Por Pablo Lopes Queiroz.

DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH IF YOU THOUGHT ABOUT A KICK ASS ROCK-AND-ROLLER-VIRTUOSO-AXEMAN AS THE NEW LEAD GUITARIST FOR A BAND WHICH WAS ONCE KNOWN AS “GUNS N’ ROSES”. AS A SIGN OF (BAD) TIMES, A MAN WHO CALLS HIMSELF DJ AND PRETENDS TO BE A ROCKER (AN “EMO PUNK” WOULD BE THE PROPER TERM TO DEFINE SUCH EXQUISITE STYLE) IS AXL ROSE’S NEW PUPIL.

Like the great Jim Morrison once said: “This is the end/my only friend, the end”. What in God’s name happens to a band that releases a record and six months later still has no promotion or marketing/publicity whatsoever for the long awaited CD and the supposed “comeback” of “The World’s Most Dangerous Band”? Not such reliable sources informed us that a video release for the song “Better” is on the way and maybe (really, maybe!) a world tour, but it’s “better” if we don’t wait too much for it (if so, at least on a comfortable position). Sure enough, Jim Morrison was a wise man.

On top of all this disastrous publicity plan, two interviews in which Mr. Rose, himself, slammed old band members and proved to the world, once again, how spoiled and immature some 40 year old “has-been” rock stars can be. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, but enough is enough.

Anyway, when things could not get any worse, once again, the thousandth incarnation of the already project-of-a-band started to fell apart, and now with Slash, Paul Tobias, Buckethead and Robin Finck, long gone, the remaining “new gunners” were left looking, once more, for a new guitar player. It seems like a bizarre curse, Slash is always struggling for a singer and it sounds like he can only find the crazy-egomaniac ones. On the other hand Axl already tried every possible axeman from Earth to Mars, without success and is running out of options. Maybe this is just a sign; maybe someone is trying to say to the red-neck-red-headed singer, to grow up and get back together with his old band members, at least just for the fun of it.

A lot was said about auditions for the band. Among the rumors were names like Nick Sterling, a 19 year old guitar prodigy with a Vai-Santriani-Malmsteen shredding style, and Ryan Roxie, a bluesy-metal guitar demi-god and best known for his work with shock-rock legend Alice Cooper. Michael Lee Firkins was the third option, but was dropped right out of the bat just because Axl thought he used too much whammy bar in his playing.

Every rocker knows that all matters involving GNR’s camp are always done with a “bit” of unpredictability, but this time things just went too far. The man chosen for the job is another Indiana homeboy, like Axl, Izzy and Paul “Huge” Tobias, named DJ Ashba, who strangely has some close connections with the members of Mötley Crüe, especially Nikki Sixx (with whom he formed the band Sixx A.M.). Needless to remember how Axl hates the members of the “Crüe”! You can’t say that the “Crüe” guys would like to be in the same room with Axl either, but still, this is a very strange move for a control-freak like Axl, who is surrounded only by people with bowed heads and in which he trusts.

The guy (Axl) is trying to erase GNR’s past history and by bringing Ashba to the bill, he’s tarnishing the name of the most badass rock bands of all times and turning the act into an emo-laughable-non-style-hired-hand circus.

Just when I though that the Buckethead era, with alien fingers, a KFC bucket on top of his head and with a Michael Myers mask, playing the nunchakus on stage, was a real messy circus far from a rock gig.

At last, for all us, old “number one” fans, it’s time to say goodbye… before we get more embarrassed.

ACESS DJ ASHBA’S OFFICIAL WEB SITE